Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
