how can u be prego again
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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