I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
