Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
As shirtless as possible
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
