There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
