It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
