i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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