If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
