I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
