If i come over, it means nothing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
