Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have fence marks all over my body
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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