somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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