whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
