ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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