It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
