she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
