they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
