My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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