Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Use "feeling words"
Yay
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
