Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
