Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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