I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
