So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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