I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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