i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just had sex bonerless
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
