What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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