he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
