Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
