yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
