We're facebook friends in real life
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
