not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sext me about skeletons
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
