Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
