I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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