Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
