Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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