ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
