he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish you could order shots online.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
