Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
and she was petting her beer can
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
