I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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