HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
