i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
