my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
