Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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