His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
