it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
