So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
