he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
