Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
