I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
