I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
