Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
