Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
