And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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