if i can run in heels then i can drive
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love having hate sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
