dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
