with your own penis?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
