Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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