I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
